Publishers Group West: How to Be a Sister by Eileen Garvin

There is nothing gentle or elegiac about the tone of Eileen Garvin's How to Be a Sister, and while there's self-awareness, there's a welcome lack of extended self-analysis. The focus instead is squarely on the author's sister, Margaret, diagnosed as autistic at 3 years old… . Garvin's storytelling abilities are strong, and her fierce, protective love for Margaret, whom she brings to stinging life on the page, gives this book real power.

— The Washington Post

A marvelous, harrowing, life-affirming book. In looking to forge a meaningful relationship with her severely autistic sister, Eileen Garvin finds a simpler way of being in, and extending, every moment. Isn't that what we're all after? I loved this book. And boy, can she write!

— Abigail Thomas, author of A Three Dog Life: A Memoir

Autistic kids grow up to be autistic adults. They have brothers and sisters who grow up alongside them. This book is an unforgettable, courageous, and explicit sibling's eye view into a rarely explored relationship, where the bond wrought by love and joy, crisis and heartbreak is mesmerizing.

— Mary-Ann Tirone Smith, author of Girls of Tender Age: A Memoir

Although Eileen Garvin was the younger sister, she was expected to be responsible for Margaret. Now, as an adult, Eileen struggles to understand her unpredictable and effusive sister, and finds that no matter how much confusion and inner conflict she feels, she always returns to love. A poignant, thoughtful, and honest portrayal of life with a sibling who has autism.

— Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister and Building a Home with My Husband

How to Be a Sister, told with amazing insight and compassion, is rich in the hilarious detail of coping with a beloved family member with special needs. Read this book. It will enrich your life.

— Terrell Harris Dougan, author of That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister

Eileen Garvin's portraits of her sister Margaret in chaotic action bring a rich identity into focus, an identity that includes autism — but also a wild and playful tug-of-war with the world that more truly defines Margaret. Bravo to Eileen for seeing and for enabling the rest of us to witness her sister's creativity, purpose, and profoundly independent path.

— Judy Karasik, coauthor of The Ride Together: A Brother and Sister's Memoir of Autism in the Family

Eileen Garvin has written a deeply reflective, generous book about her relationship with her older sister, Margaret, who has autism. A compelling description of how Garvin's childhood experiences continued to influence her interactions with her sister many years later, it gracefully intertwines humor, pain, respect, and optimism. Eileen Garvin is open about her struggles, her love, her anger, her guilt, her fear, and her respect of her sister — as a child and as a woman. Every parent who is raising both a child with autism and a neurotypical child should read this book. So should every older teen or adult sibling of a person with autism. And so should all the rest of us who want to gain a greater empathy for the life of a family which includes a child with autism.

— Sandra L. Harris, PhD, executive director, Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center, Rutgers University, and coauthor of Siblings of Children with Autism: A Guide for Families